b a r e.

She walks quietly allowing the only sound to be her breathing, in and o u t. To long for a life of simplicity is to simply not desire to obtain excess. To live off the grain. She desires to serve, to pour out her soul to make the Kingdom a reality, but yearns to learn how to be a servant and how to say no.
This isnt an easy road. I'm trying. To pull up my socks, grin and bear it, to serve, to love, to ask nothing in return. Which for the most part happens, but the days I forget to wear socks, its hard to pull them up. I find it hard to have days where I dont want anything to do with the world I inhabit. Afterall, I have "so many things going for me, I follow a great God, and I am young" but its hard. I fail, I fall, and there are times when I DONT want to get back up again. I refuse to actually, until He lifts me gently off the ground , dusts me off, and asks me to keep going.
How can I be a servant, and have bad days?
Perhaps the whole point of serving isnt about not having bad days, or not saying no, but giving entirely from the grain that I live off of. Relying on the strength of something greater, and realising when today I have nothing left to give but smiles and a good ear. Perhaps its about giving what I have, even when all I have are tears and frusterations.

Giving what I have.. Giving what I have... Giving what He gives me.

b.