goodnight moon.

I can feel it in my soul, a change in spirit, a change in the way i breathe and I am trying to capture every moment of it. I feel this overwhelming sadness that lingers in the air when I think about change, or where I am headed on my journey, perhaps because it hasn't been the easiest journey and getting from point A to point B is always more eventful that one would hope for.
Being okay with struggling, and needing to cry out to God is where I am at, this is where I am growing, and where I am becoming.

I have made the decision to stop making lists of things to do before I die, and to start making a list of things to do everyday, more of a lifestyle change instead of something amazing that I do just once, and it excites me because in my efforts to do so, I will be serving others in the process, and eliminating regrets on my journey. So far, this is what I have come up with:

1. be a mother - to the motherless, to the one's with amazing mothers, just simply by holding a baby, playing with a child, praying for families, babysitting, and supporting.

2. be a friend - to strangers, to my best friends, to my old friends, going for coffee, writing letters, checking in with them, being a solid support system, encouragement, and someone they can go to whenever they need.

3. love - outloud, in prayer, in my actions, in how i spend my time, in how i serve in the community, with everyone i encounter, I want them to feel loved, and through the love I can give them, to see the amazing love of my savior. love is not judgemental, and it is not meant to be kept for ourselves, but rather spread to the loveless.

4. spend time with family - biological and my church family. through prayer, coffee, making dinner, bringing dinner, games nights, phone calls, birthday cakes, priorities, thinking of them first, quality time, emails, and letting them know i am always here.

5. be a servant - in all ways, always, hold a door, change the world, give a granola bar, go early and set up for church, help a brother out, help a sister out, serve dinner, make dinner, offer a smile, be a voice, feed the hungry, start a conversation, donate money, invite someone in, make cookies, babysit for the sake of spending time with God's children.

As I now run head and heart first into this week, Im sure I will add more to this list. But this is a solid starting point, and I feel the change deep in my soul.

I think im starting to get it.

b.