dios ; usa mis manos.

I know it has been a while since i have written last, but to my surprise i have been quite busy.
It has gotten alittle better since last week, and each day seems to get alittle better which is good, except it is still quite difficult.
Thank you to everyone who is praying for me, and prayed for me during my hard time last week, i really appreciate it.
This week i have really tried to connect with the kids alot, to make my stay here more enjoyable. Alot of the older kids, from 11 - my age have really started to connect with me. Some still look at me like im satan, but hey, its getting better.
The lady who runs the orphanage is not the greatest to me, but im trying to find a way to tune her out, and live with her.
I am now teaching about 7 - 10 kids english, which i LOVE ( sometimes) as well as taking my 3 times a week spanish lessons with Wes and Renee, and my fill in mom Joan, a 60 year old missionary currently living here as well.
I hate the kitchen, because well, i cannot cook. which doesnt matter , because none of the ladies in the kitchen can either =) .
Ive been told its not that hard to make beans and eggs. boo urns.
I have been exploring my options with different orphanages, because at points, it can get really bad here. lots of politics, gossip , and drama, which i am not a fan of, which makes it really hard sometimes to stay close to God.
Dont get me wrong, there is good things here, and i see God working, and i dont think i could leave this place. Not yet. im not finished. i have not "arrived"
I am learning more and more spanish everyday, and teaching english helps, because i have to figure out what the words are in spanish to talk to them.
There are alot of hormones here, but i have managed to find some really good things in these kids its amazing.
Like Edgar. He can make me laugh like no one else. He speaks alot of english, and understands alot as well, so he likes to joke around with me, and tease me about my spanish. He is polite, and respects me, which is nice . he makes me feel welcome, even though he likes to make up stories about himself, and where hes from, so i fail my homework in Spanish class. Typical 17 year old boy.
jahjira is feisty, but a sweet girl as well. She likes to take me out and explore good ol Tijuana. She was my "in" into the girl group, which is very clicky, and still hasnt really taken to me that well. But we talk alot, and she is helping me understand spanish by hearing it.

Theres this boy here. Who doesnt go to youth group, bible study, and barely pays attention on church on Sunday, but for some reason, i felt like i could connect to him. And at first it was SO hard. Hes an almost 18 year old boy, whos mother, an ex prostitute, now helps oversee the orphanage, and lives here as well. Therefore he gets away with everything, and doesnt seem to connect or talk to anyone. We call him pretty boy because he spends more time looking in a mirror than any other boy ive met. He refuses to speak english, but i know he can speak alittle, because i talk to him in english and he understands. Tonight a girl was being rude to me, a girl who lives at the purple palace, and Martin , stepped in and told her to get lost. We got talking, and not just a " hey como estas" kinda conversation. I asked him about life, about himself, about university.
And he opened up. He spoke alittle english, ( which no one has ever heard him speak ) and told me his plans, and he asked me questions as well. I was shocked, but it gave me alittle hope that i can connect with other kids that way as well.

I hope this week continues to be alright. Im kinda exhausted, so im praying for more energy. Weekends seem to be really good, and i have made a good friend in San Diego, a nurse who comes down on weekends Niomi. Next weekend i am going to stay at her house in San Diego, and she is going ot show me around.

God is good, and he is going to use me, to show others his love.

Ill try and update more often.

Bree