enferma y frustre.

i am frusterated out of my mind.
as soon as things started to get better, my health came crashing back down.
on Friday i got a horrible fever again, and my tonsils started to hurt. They swelled to the point where i could barely talk, and i happened to be spending the night with the older kids at a church in Las Playas.
So Saturday upon returning i was greeted with a hello, how was it? And when i told Connie what was wrong, she barked back, well Brianna ( as she likes to call me ) why would you go then? So i simply told her , if i knew i was going to get sick, i wouldnt have gone.
Tyler took me to the hospital, then after finding out the doctor i needed wasnt there, we went to a different clinic for ears, noses and throughts. This time we got a "good " doctor.
He did an allergy test, and looked at my tonsils, and said that they were really big,and that it was causing my airway to be limited.
He told me that allergies might me the reason that my tonsils are trying to kill me, and gave me a bacteria vaccination shot, plus 3 different types of medicine to take, some needles and vaccination to take home with me ( sketchy ) and then told me that i should consider taking out my tonsils in the future.
Great. So i told him i was not going to get them taken out while i am here, that i would do it when i got home .
After getting back to el pozo , i fell asleep at about 6 and woke up this morning at 7 30.
Who knew that being on 3 different medications would make you drowsy.
So now Connie has told me i need to stay in my room, because they have taken me ot alot of doctors and spent various amounts of money to get me better, and if i dont get better soon, she wants me to go home.
So there you have it.
If i dont get better, soon, i will be coming home
which is something that i cant say i want, and also something i cant say i dont want. IF i stay sick, of course i want to come home. And the fact that Connie is not the most compassionate person makes me want to walk home. But for the sake of the children, and how much i love them, and enjoy sharing my life with them, and theirs with me, i want to finish out my stay, make the best of it, love, and be loved, and leave on a happy note, because i have to go back for school, not because i got sick, and wanted to leave.

God will provide, i just have to wait, and pray and have faith.
And i do.

So here i go.


Bree.